Returning to Dating after Amputation

My experiences in the last two years as an amputee, which are my first two years as an amputee, have been filled with endless new beginnings… many that I have shared in my previous editorials in the New Beginnings department in thrive magazine.

My life was dramatically altered after my motorcycle accident in 2021. And to my surprise, a new person emerged. Believe me when I say, whatever you are facing or faced as a new amputee, I’ve likely experienced as well.

Shock, resentment, discomfort, loneliness, depression, strength, capability, pride, and so many more things in between. Admittedly, I am the “Queen of Emotions!” But, I’ve managed to regularly surprise myself when it comes to overcoming the things I never thought I could or would.

I’ve returned to the gym and get this, competed in fitness competitions with fully-abled women. I started a new job that requires me to be in the office full-time. I’ve shared my life as a writer, hoping that it will make a difference for others, and me. I’ve been a presenter at prestigious events, been a guest on several podcasts and featured in magazines too. I have been fortunate to say the least, and for that I am grateful. I’ve been blessed many times over in the past two years.

I’ve visited this place in my mind many times, and I cannot pinpoint why this is so hard for me to do. Why do I feel so unsafe? Why do I feel unworthy? Why do I feel like I would just be a burden? Why do I feel so uncomfortable in my own body? Will this ever fade? Will I ever feel ready? Why can some people continue their search for love, while I can’t bring myself to even hope?

I have not always been this insecure or closed to the idea of love. In fact, before my injury I was a hopeless romantic. One who would daydream about a successful career and a big loving family with someone special meant just for me. Years ago I followed my heart across the globe to live with my fiancé (at the time) in Australia. I bought a house built for a family in hopes that one day we’d fill it with one. And somehow, I now find myself lonelier than ever. I can’t bring myself to daydream anymore.

A relationship is hard as it is. I sit with my fears and insecurities every day. How do I start to share that with someone who I don’t know? What should my expectations be, now that life is different?

I hear from others with all kinds of different disabilities, that it’s still the same as before. As much as that’s a relief to hear, it’s also hard for me to believe. That takes me to an even more doubtful place in my mind - am I the only one struggling with this?

I have attempted dating since my accident. Ironically enough, I dated right after leaving rehab. I had met him while I was a physical therapy patient, and he was visiting family at the hospital. I thought to myself, “what better of a person to connect with than someone who’s seen me at the lowest part of my journey.”

We dated briefly, but of course it was too difficult… for me. I was dealing with infinite changes and challenges. As much as I wanted to be in the relationship, I couldn’t. I was experiencing too many emotions and I was constantly mentally and physically exhausted. I felt guilty about not being able to be a good partner.

I was on my first leg and was hardly walking. I utilized my minimal energy to adapt to my own surroundings, and my anxieties were multiplied. But maybe it was about something that no one else – not others with disabilities and not even healthcare professionals – brings up and that’s intimacy! With so many physical insecurities, I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be that vulnerable with someone. I was the first amputee that he had dated so I didn’t know how it would be for either of us.

For us who wear a prosthesis, we all know how helpful it is in our daily lives. But when we take it off, for me, it’s an instant reminder of what once was! How can I be so raw with someone else, while I’m still trying to deal with it myself?

Two years later, and most of those doubts remain. I’d like to say everything is great and all is well, but that’s not the case.

I am very proud of how far I’ve come and of all that I’ve accomplished but unfortunately, I still have the same insecurities. The same questions run through my mind, although not as often. I still wonder to myself if I will ever be ready, or feel safe enough again, for a relationship. I still don’t have an answer.

I reflect a lot on my journey and I’m astonished how resilient we can be. I’ve overcome so much. Even after endless breakdowns (still to this day), and moments of weakness that lasted days, and seas of self-doubt, and storms of frustration, I learned a very important thing and that is to be patient with myself.

As I said, a new person emerged from this ordeal. So, I give her time… time to heal, time to grow, and time to find her way back to love.



I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this touchy topic. Helpful advice for me and maybe others too. Reach out to me on Instagram @1_bionic_beauty. Or connect by email through thrive’s publisher at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..